I’m like the center of my gravity. So far I’ve lost like five air hockey games. You failed your driver’s ed test oh * my * god I failed my driver’s ed test too. My boyfriend says I’m too aggressive. I drove on the wrong side. Shut up. Ding dong bitch. You heard me ding dong bitch. She thinks I’m Japanese. That’s because I am Japanese. I don’t know where I am. I had a water gun. Look at all that steel. It’s like a junkyard out there. It’s like zombies. I’m so gonna fail. It was horrible. It was so horrible. Here say hi to my boyfriend. Are you jealous. Seriously I so suck at volleyball. Me too I love the letter J. Not unless I’ve got like six inch heels on. Yeah I want some pop rocks. I’ll beat you there. Say it. Say it. Second hand smoke you mean. Sugar Daddy. Muffin. Baby. Sweetie. Pumpkin Pie. Whatever at least I’m proud of it. Pooh bear. Oh my god pooh bear. Do you live by the place with the big chopsticks. I love that place. Shut up. You can buy me a cheesecake. I so too won you over with my sweet charms. I won you over. I’m your flower I’ll wear red. I’ll make you wear my dog’s head. Are you underground yet.

 

Derek Owens directs the Institute for Writing Studies (St. John’s University, NY) and is enrolled in the Transart Institute’s MFA in creative practice. Information on his artwork, writing, and teaching can be found at derekowens.net.

Oh My God Did You Say Pooh Bear You Did So Said Pooh Bear
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