\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u201cYou want to talk about addiction?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0-Eddie Guerrero
<\/p>\n
Truth is, I am an addict.<\/em> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u201cYou want to talk about addiction?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0-Eddie Guerrero Truth is, I am an addict.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The clouds took the city from us.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The only thing the storm left us was debris of what could have been. Your<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":384,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[22244],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/384"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1125"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2169,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1125\/revisions\/2169"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libblogs.luc.edu\/requited\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The clouds took the city from us.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The only thing the storm left us was debris of what could have been. Your childhood was chunked onto the lawn during the storm. There was your spineless Barbie; its limbs were ripped off. The head sat a few feet away from the body \u2013 detached.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0There was also your old Bible. The spine purged from the pages.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I picked it up and put it into my arms with all of the other useless shit of yours I\u2019d collected once the water stopped. You locked your arms around me, rested your chin on my shoulder, I couldn\u2019t find a reason to tell you to keep it up.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I did that to myself. That was just the beginning of it. For three years, not only did I lose my jobs, I lost my wife \u2013 I lost my kids \u2013 I lost myself. I lost my spirit. I came to a point in my life where it was do or die. I had to make a decision. Do \u2013 or \u2013 die. And you know what?<\/em>
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I enrolled in a swimming class at the local YMCA. I was a grown man who didn\u2019t know how to swim, and I figured it was time I learned something. On the first day of class, I tried to explain to you that I was not a parent, and you laughed at my misconceptions on what learning to swim would give to me \u2013 emotionally.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI feel uneasy taking my shirt off in a room full of children,\u201d I told you.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019ll be fine,\u201d you assured me.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I did because I\u2019m here right now.<\/em>
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The city closed off everything because of the storm.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The airport fell apart under the weight of the people needing a way out. All the flights were cancelled; people were forced to outlast the floods and find their own form of high ground.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When we marched from our old house \u2013 the one that was destroyed \u2013 to the motel we stayed out, we didn\u2019t speak much, which means we said a lot of words, but they all fell short of fracturing the walls we\u2019d built.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0In the past, you loved to confess your drunken disappointments about how I never told you much about my life. Everything was a secret with me \u2013 you thought<\/em>.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Day by day, by the grace of God, I have earned my way back into this ring. Day by day, by the grace of God, I have earned my life back.<\/em>
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The voice on the television assured us that everything was going to be okay. You were stretched out on the bed in your underwear and listening intently to the things they wanted us to know. That was a thing about you: You liked to listen to things; you enjoyed the noise.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When we arrived at the motel, you\u2019d pulled the Bible out and put it on the bed next to you \u2013 for comfort. I didn\u2019t believe in it, and, sometimes, I thought of using the transient property and determining that I didn\u2019t believe in you either.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWould you move your book?\u201d I asked. I wanted to sit down, but I really wanted you to know that I was unhappy.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re so demanding,\u201d you replied without moving an inch.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I picked the Bible up and held in front of my face; I tried to x-ray the words and see something more than paper and printed word.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cYou know I saw a palm reader once,\u201d I said.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s that got to do with anything?\u201d You asked.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cSame amount of validity as this<\/em>,\u201d I chuckled and waved the good book.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhat did she<\/em> say?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cShe promised me that I\u2019d marry a blond psychology major,\u201d I said.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cAnd?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cIf I marry you, that means she couldn\u2019t see the future,\u201d I said.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cDon\u2019t be shocked,\u201d you said. \u201cPsychics are a scam \u2013 and they\u2019re usually wrong.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cBut was she \u2013 wrong?\u201d I asked.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0You lifted your half-naked body and pulled the book out of my hands. \u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cDo you think I settled for you \u2013 or did you settle for me?\u201d I asked.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWhat the fuck<\/em> are you even saying?\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cThere\u2019s power in admitting the truth,\u201d I said and thumbed at the thick cover of the Bible, which you took as a sign of something cosmic. You reared back and flung the book at the dead center of my head.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI wished you used your brain sometimes,\u201d you said.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cMe too,\u201d I agreed.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWe\u2019ll talk tomorrow,\u201d you spasmed.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cEverything will be better,\u201d I said. \u201cTomorrow.\u201d
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u201cDid the psychic tell you that too?\u201d You asked.
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Oh, what a high it is.<\/em>
You can find Mathew Serback’s<\/strong> poetry, fiction, and nonfiction in [PANK]<\/em>, filling station, Crack the Spine, Literary Orphans<\/em>, and many other terrific publications.<\/p>\n\n\n